Torontoist news

One of the things I love about the Torontoist blog, is its recap of the day’s (or week’s) news. It gives links to some of the headlines with often very funny, matter-of-fact sarcastic commentary. This is today’s news:

Don’t panic, but food prices are rising. Turns out that oil becoming an inelastic commodity, collapsing fish stocks, climate change affecting crop growth, and increased demand for food in China and India as they grow richer makes food more expensive! Who could have foreseen this happening? Oh, right, lots of people.

Speaking of oil becoming an inelastic commodity, gas prices are going to skyrocket this summer and continue climbing for the foreseeable future. When asked how this could happen, economist Jeff Rubin pointed to a big sign saying OIL IS A FINITE RESOURCE, YOU JACKASSES, then sat down and cried.

Luckily, high gas prices won’t affect us, because Toronto lags significantly behind other Canadian cities in terms of bike lanes and spending upon them. No, wait, that’s bad.

Memo to self: if my house ever catches fire, just let the motherfucker burn, because the City of Toronto is charging Duke’s Cycle sixty-four grand for cleanup after the Queen Street fire. Apparently “taxes” no longer pay for firemen and stuff.

And in non-apocalyptic news, the Raptors beat the crap out of the Magic last night.

I particularly liked this one from yesterday:

Premier Dalton McGuinty says that bullet trains are the future of transportation. Except in other countries, where they’re the present.

On other news, Toronto was considered not so bike-friendly.